Post Afterlife

     In my mind, my pain right now is only explainable in a place that is to come after hell, the worse of the after lives. A place reserved only for people who have committed great emotional and mental sin. I will be tormented on the intellectual and emotional levels like I can't imagine and right now, as she lays so comfortably in my wake, I only want to see her in front of me. So I may hold her and pet her, because I miss her. I feed her and I give her water and I clean up all the messes that she's made but I can't seem to make her see that she would be much better off in front of me.

      In this place, I will receive special treatment from special devils with special training and higher pay than those in hell. I will have no mouth, no eyes, no ears and will have lost my ability to physically feel. I will have no body. I will have no way to express my pain, no way to write about it and never any way to scream or cry. My pain will be kept inside of me with a lock that has no keyhole and never a key for which been forged, so you will never be able to see it and I will never be able to exhume it.

     It's alright though, I guess, I'm nothing more than a boy, thinking he's a man, locked in a cage, pretending not to let my captor's know that I see it. I see it though, and when I am free and I move into post afterlife, I will think of nothing but you. A whole month, wow. This is retarded. That's all I will be able to think. That this is so stupid and I feel so lonely and stupid.

     Say something, because they're all beginning to believe that I've gone crazy. I haven't though, right Jane? you're here, I know you are, because when I talk to you, you talk back and you make so much sense to me. How could you not be real. I've seen a glimpse of Jane in my Post Afterlife, and it isn't very pretty. She is mean and she tortures me so. I'm not sure if I should let her be there for that in the end or if I should get rid of her now. I'll never know.