Felicity, you have haunted my nightmares for the last time. I say to you now. I am truly free of your haunting memories and betraying ways. I am free of my past and therefore free of the burden of you. Free from all of the suffering, pain and sleepless nights you brought upon me. Felicity, you, who will never ever read this, you, who are the reason I am the way that I am, the reason that I've spent the last two months writhing in pain and struggling to live in my own skin. You, felicity, I am free of. I am free of the guilt of what you said I did to you. Free from myself, who told me that I was worthless and that all the times that I failed aren't a match for all the times I've done anything worth while. I haven't even done anything in my life. period. How can I be a failure or a success yet? I'm not even a man by this world's standards. I will be soon though. Very soon, and if I don't have anything to show for it when that day comes I will then be past the point of no return.
Felicity, I saw a picture of you today. On purpose, it was. I actually saw like three or four and what I noticed about all of them was that you were smiling. This and only this I have to say about that: I'm happy for you. You deserve to smile. What you did to me isn't justification for the things that I've wished, hoped and even prayed would happen to you. Forgive my silly, hurtful and sadistic mind. It is that mind that has been my downfall in the past couple of months. I know though, that when I can grasp that power and use it for good. It will be that mind that will take me where I need to go and eventually where I want to go. Felicity, I don't hate you. Felicity, I love you for what it's worth.
